That was an unexpected hiatus, and I have no real idea how it happened. This past month has been a bit of a blur since I stopped posting about it. At times it seems to have been dragging on forever, and the next moment it feels like it all started just a few days ago.
But taking PEP has become a regular part of my day, though not a habit I've perfected. I've been hours off taking my doses so many times, although I never missed any. There has been times when I thought about packing it all in and stop taking it, mostly out of fatigue. Of having to worry if delayed doses would be a problem. Having to look down at this pile of half a dozen pills I have to take. I thought it would be the physical side-effects that would make me consider giving up on it, but it was actually the routine that got to me more. Out of the side effects of these meds, of which I've thankfully only seemed to get the most common and manageable, the tiredness and fatigue have been the worst for me. I barely felt like doing anything most of the time, only having recently starting to get back to the daily things I need to do. Not having the will to do anything probably contributed to my lack of updating this, but it's really been a monotonous month until recently.
But it's all almost over. I will need to drag myself out of bed tomorrow as I have my week 4 appointment at the hospital, which actually should be the last until the final blood test 3 months from now. I thought it was on Friday, but I got a text message telling me the 5th. At this moment, it feeling like one of those 'dragging on forever' times, and it's possibly almost over. I have about 10 days worth of PEP left. I had standard STI tests and blood and urine tests (to check liver and kidney functions) two weeks ago, so should get the results of those. While the extra medication helped keep the side-effects in control, it's not really perfect and despite still having 10 days worth of the tablets left I am hoping I can finally stop.
About the end of last week, I made my first outing that wasn't for an appointment since starting PEP. Top Cat, the health advisor at the hospital, mentioned this kind of support group run in the city for gay and bisexual men. I wasn't really completely sure what it was going to be like, so it was a bit nerve-wrecking. There was a moment standing in front of the door that wouldn't open that I considered just legging it home. But I stuck it out and after working up the nerve to use the video intercom I finally got let in. To attempt to make a theme out of this non-hook-up names, one of cartoon cats, the guy who showed me around can be Heathcliff.
It's an event that runs once a week during the evening. I was about an hour late, and since it was the first time I'd visited I had a one-on-one talk with Heathcliff about what they offered there, what I was looking for from them, and some general stuff. I might have mentioned plans to follow through on a course dealing with (among other things) assertiveness. Turns out the programme they are starting up this week, tomorrow actually, includes basically what the other courses promised--with the addition of more sex related topics like putting your wants and needs about sex forward. The more I heard about it, the more it seemed like the ideal thing for me right now. I didn't actually get a chance to look in on the workshop going on that night, but they were about to rework the programme anyway and that was the last of the old type. So tomorrow they will be the first week of the new type. Not too clear on the changes between the old and the new programmes, but I don't suppose that matters now.
I'm looking forward to having the extra event in my week, the benefits of the course and also the social aspect. Pretty much all of these are things I could use more of in my life right now.
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