Mobile: moment of truth

Interaction with C.G. followed a now familiar pattern. A couple of bland and innocent enough messages soon ended up turning sexual. Not that I minded. This was in the space of about 3-4 days.

He asked if he was too old for me, at 35. I told him no. At this time, when the dialogue was still fairly chaste, I thought he might have meant too old to consider dating. I'm not one of those 20-somethings who consider a man over 30 unworthy of attention, for something more serious and especially not for just sex.

I thought he looked rather handsome from his pictures. I would definitely sleep with him if he was willing to let me. Even if that was all that happened.

So I was chatting with him tonight and he asked if I would cam with him. Never done it before, but I figured I'd give it a shot. To jump to the conclusion I wasn't too thrilled with the experience. I was using my phone which much have hindered things, and there was just something about it that made it feel all a bit strange for me. I don't think I'll be rushing to do it again soon, not that I get much opportunity for that sort of alone time at home right now anyway.

The main point of this post happened during the chat. Which was a hassle, wanking and typing on a phone at the same time as trying to keep the camera on my cock. He wanted to make me cum, sit in my cock, I asked to see his arse, and then I got this question.

"You like bb?"

Never fails to make my heart drop. Not really the most conductive state to be wanking in, that of disappointment. I am here trying to spunk and then I am faced with this dilemma I've been dealing with for the past couple of months. There were a couple of seconds where I considered stopping the call right there and just hiking up my pants, shutting off the lights and going to sleep.

But I didn't. So here was my moment to do things differently. To stand up for what I want, or what is right for me as I've decided myself.

"I don't do it"

I think I did pretty well for my first attempt at being direct. It's not preachy or judgmental. It's not too vague or wishy-washy. Clear and to the point.

My reward from him was that instead of cumming in his arse as he said before, I could now do it on it. (When he said in his arse I started to wonder, but seconds later I got the barebacking question which killed the mystery.) But whatever, I just have to keep it up.

But now I'm not really sure how to feel about this guy. He'd asked me before if I played safe, which was a big relief not to be asked the other question. His profile had the safer sex section down as 'always', I'm sure it did. So how am I supposed to process those facts now? Was this question just some heat of the moment comment said when he was too horny to censor it? Was it just a case of talking about it to help get himself off? (It probably added a couple of minutes to my time, about 25 minutes.) Or was he serious and all that safe play business was just something he does at the beginning?

I don't really care if people want to not use condoms with whoever they want. As long as that person isn't me. I don't know why, if it is the case that he was after bareback sex the whole time, people don't just indicate that and not use 'always' when they don't mean it. Of all the things to lie about when hooking up online—your age, marital status, name, etc.—why lie about this?

It's partly my fault I got in this mess, I was the one who messages him back. I was messaging a bunch of people in an effort to be more active about my relationships with people, and he was one of them. In my defence, I had been lured in with a nice face and the promise of rubbers.