Hip to be Square (working out)

Guess making a proper non-intro post would be a good kick-off, since the first didn't really say anything.

To get over insecurities with body image, and get in better shape (beyond the obvious health benefits, I figure I'd be a better shag that way), I've been working out. Trying to plan it out on my own is a bit of a hassle. I'd like to lose a couple of stone and put on some muscle, but working out a programme does go over my head at times. None of the ready-made programmes seem right. I've taken to just adding at least one new exercise a week as I read up on it and get into the rhythm of working out.

I'm not willing to fork over the money needed to join a gym at this point in time, so I work out at home using a couple of bits of equipment I amassed over last few years when I previously decided to get into shape. The motivation for such kicks usually involved some guy or another. If whoring myself around a bit makes me get my arse in gear and into shape, that can't be a bad thing.

I've always kind of hated it when I had sex with a guy in a room where the bed (or wherever we were doing it) was in view of a mirror. Because if I caught my reflection in it, it's a sure way to ruin the mood for me. I try to move myself out of the line of sight, and steer the other guy away too (even though they can see me anyway). Above the neck, I don't think I look that bad. There were times in the past when I felt like recreating the film "Face/Off", but in time I've come to terms with my looks. It's just once you go below the neck when things start going wrong.

I once tried to look into a mirror (those sliding door ones that reach from the floor to the ceiling) while fucking a guy. Definitely wasn't about to recreate "American Psycho" and start winking at the man I saw there. I turned away a second later and kept my head forward from that point on.

I'm not vain enough to want to be checking myself out in the mirror when I'm having sex. But I'd like to reach a point where I don't have such an adverse reaction if I happen to glance at one during. I might even let myself have one cheeky wink at that point.

One thing I found about exercising is that it makes me feel really horny. Maybe it's the combination of the sweat and shortness of breath and having a high libido lately. I'm trying not to jack off in the hope that someone will be available in the next two days at least (if not later today), but it's getting hard to resist. It does kind of make me wish for a better mode of transport and wider roster of willing guys. I am currently waiting for one in particular to get back to me, hopefully saying to get over there right now. Not likely, but I can hope. Otherwise I have to count on a new guy pulling through for me.

One's just shown some interest, so fingers crossed.