"Fuck Me"

"I want you to fuck me."

Putting what I want into words is hard for me, and especially with sex. There's something about asking someone to fuck me in particular. Not in a roundabout way, or posing it as a question. Either as a direct statement of desire, or a straight-forward command. In my relatively short sex life, I've said it 3 times.

1) I.G.: The first time I ever asked someone fuck me. Not the first time someone had fucked me, but the first time I said the words. Not the most ideal of situations, but still.

2) A.F.: It's a bit of a cheat, because I didn't exactly say it. He told me I was going to get fucked. But it was really hot, so I'm letting it slide. But when he asked if that was okay, I told him I wanted him to. So half-way there.

3) C.R.: After the first time we hooked up, I sent him a message telling him I wanted him to fuck me. Not exactly saying it. But when I see him again (if I do?), I want to say it properly.

Still, I think far too much about it rather than just doing. I'd like to reach a point where I'm comfortable enough to just say things in bed without having an internal dialogue about it going on in my head.