All this pain and discomfort, turns out it's all my fault. I used too much of that cream, and it had an excessive reaction. Put my immune system too far up. The little sachet was meant to be used to cover an area the size of a hand. So using all of it was going too far. I wasn't doing it thinking 'if I use it all, I'll heal faster!!' or anything like that. I just figured I was meant to use the whole lot, otherwise I'm just throwing all this leftover cream away, aren't I? Well, this is one of the times being frugal doesn't do you much good. I might have spread some around where there wasn't anything wrong, kind of thinking I might catch anything that's just sprouting up. These aren't good ideas.

The doctor told me on Monday to stop using the cream (naturally) and to wash the area with a saline solution and go back in two weeks. Used to have a load of proper medical grade stuff around, a couple of health care workers in the family. But I've not seen any for a long time, so I'm going to have to just make my own. I'm meant to wash with it three times a day, which means I have to find the time and privacy to be able to do this. Which is more of a pain than the washing.

I wish I knew someone who had somewhere I could just go for a couple of weeks and have time to myself. Sadly, I don't. So I have to make do with trying to get ten minutes whenever I can.

While I was there I told him about the message about having lice. Didn't mention having thought that I'd found one. Not sure why. I'm just not very good at saying what needs to be said, still. I think too much about saying things, then never say them because I think the right moment has passed. I tried to rationalise this to myself by saying I wasn't sure if I did find anything. Maybe it was nothing. He had a quick look around the front but didn't see anything.

That's a relief, right? Except after I got home, I had another look myself. Because it was more the back that I was wondering about. Didn't really feeling like saying 'look at my arse, doctor' to someone I just met in a hospital. The downside to going to the GUM clinic instead of a GP or something is that you don't necessarily build up a relationship with one person where it's easier to say these things. Or maybe that's just me being me.

I got one of those combs for combing cats to check for fleas, and tried combing the hair on my arse. I'm not smooth or anything, but don't have a lot of hair there so there's not much to work with. Pubic lice can't be much smaller than animal fleas, surely that'll work? Gave the comb a rinse with boiling water, and when to the bathroom to have a look what I could find.

And find, I did. Only one, a little round clear thing stuck between the teeth of the comb, but that was enough confirmation for me. Maybe I just didn't want to be sticking around too long, combing at my arse with a flea comb. Yet now I've seen one for sure, I can't really stop thinking about it.

So I will go, again, to the GUM clinic to ask about using something while I have other thing going on. The doctor I saw on Monday didn't recommend doing anything with my skin inflamed like it is now, and he didn't see anything. But now I don't really want to leave it. The idea that little creatures might be crawling around on me wasn't nice, the certainty that they are isn't something I want to leave unattended.

***

The cleaning hurts less than I thought it would. Pulling the foreskin back still hurts the most. Having a normal bath afterwards hurt more.

Another comb, and another crab. Including what I managed to pick off with my fingers, that's 4 I've found. One of those was on my belly, which would mean they are moving around now. That just makes me want to get something done quicker.

Want to get this cleared up rather than putting off treating it just because it's not serious. I still want it out of the way, and to have a clean bill of health again. Though I'm not sure if I want one so I can get out there and do exactly what I was doing before again.